The reasons why you want to date someone can be just as important as your preferences and expectations.
In fact, these factors are often conflated with each other, creating a complex mix of goals and motivations that you have to understand if you want a successful dating experience.
One common motivation is dating to marry, which is something a lot of people aim for — men and women both. On the surface, it’s quite straightforward. You meet and get to know fellow singles to find someone special, hopefully the woman you will eventually fall in love with and get married to.
But is it really as simple as that? Or can it be more complicated than it seems?
Are You Dating for Marriage?
“I think I want to marry you.”
This is something that a lot of women and even men dream of hearing from their partners, especially in a serious and long-term relationship.
Any variation of this statement carries the same intent: the person you’re dating is ready to commit and spend the rest of their life with you. Whether someone is single, dating, engaged, or married, everyone wants to feel this level of love and devotion.
So when you enter the dating scene, it’s important to understand if this is the same motivation you have for meeting and connecting with single women who also have their own dating goals.
Not only will it help you identify what you really desire, but that awareness can also give you a higher chance of dating success.
Dating to Marry vs Dating for Fun
Men who date women are often looking for either a casual fling to have fun or a serious commitment with someone they want to settle down with.
Neither objective is necessarily better than or morally superior to the other, but you need to know what to do and what to expect depending on what you want.
Dating for Fun
If you’re dating for fun, you have to be upfront with the women you’re meeting and spending time with.
Since a lot of single ladies are dating to marry, you shouldn’t lead them on if you know you’re not on the same page about what your relationship is about or where it’s headed. Don’t wait for a woman to be disappointed and ask herself “Will I ever get married?” when you know it’s just not in the cards.
Men who date for fun usually do it for the experience or to figure out what they really want in a partner. They can also prefer brief but intense physical and emotional intimacy without the obligation of a serious relationship.
Dating to Marry
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with dating just to have fun, it can still hinder you from finding companionship that is steady and reliable.
A date-to-marry type of person, on the other hand, is focused more on having long-term dating goals. They tend to think about the future.
If you’re dating to marry, you have a tendency to gravitate toward women who are doing the same. You have to consider your preferences more closely and be more careful about your expectations and boundaries.
While getting to know women, men who have marriage in mind are concerned with more than just instant joy and satisfaction. They prepare for the years ahead and what those plans mean for your relationship now — like whether or not they’ll have children, where they’ll live, and even what kind of wedding they’ll organize.
It can be tedious and more challenging than if you’re simply dating for fun, but it can also be more fulfilling.
How to Know if You Should Marry Someone
Should you realize that searching for your future wife is your ultimate dating goal, one of the next things you need to take into account is identifying what makes a woman a good match for you.
You Genuinely Love Each Other
The first and arguably the most important factor to consider is whether or not there is genuinely love and affection between you and the woman you’re dating.
In some ways, dating to marry is a long-term investment. It can take time to unlock some of the deeper feelings within you since there are things about your partner that you will only discover once you get married and start your shared life together.
But there should be, at the very least, sincere care between the two of you.
Choosing the person to marry is a huge milestone, so you should pick someone who wants what’s best for you. She should make your happiness and well-being a priority. She should inspire you to build a good life.
If your love is so great that a lifelong commitment is its natural progression, then you know marrying them is the right choice.
You Have Similar Goals and Expectations
Another factor to look into is if you and your special lady have the same goals in life.
Your spouse will be your partner, which means you will need to work hard to support each other’s dreams and endeavors. That can be difficult if you don’t want the same things.
Dating to marry involves a careful negotiation of what you can sacrifice and what you refuse to give up to be with the person you love. You need to be on the same page when it comes to the truly important stuff and learn to compromise over the rest.
If you can’t agree on what you want to achieve in life, or if you don’t see your relationship the same way, then getting married won’t be able to fix your issues. It will just exacerbate them.
You’re Ready for a Serious Commitment
Just because you’re thinking about marriage doesn’t mean you’re prepared for everything that comes with it.
Apart from looking at the qualities of your partner and deciding if they are the kind of person you want to settle down with, you should also search within yourself if you’re ready for a commitment as serious as marriage.
Sometimes, willingness to tie the knot is about the person you’re marrying.
But sometimes, it’s also about your own capacity to take on the responsibilities that married people sign up for.
They Want to Marry You Too
It takes two to tango, and the same thing goes for people dating to marry.
After ticking off the items on your checklist of what makes someone an ideal spouse, you then have to do the best part: asking your woman to marry you.
Before you start planning your wedding and the rest of your life together, it’s important to first make sure that she’s on board. More than saying yes, she also has to commit to building a home and a future with you.
If she does, and she has a good track record of fulfilling all her commitments in life, then you know you have a keeper.