Like most things, dating experiences change. Current norms may not fly in the future. And because change is constant, dating trends come and go.
One minute, a specific practice is setting the internet on fire. People share clips and memes of their experiences on the most-populated dating apps. A few months later, it dies out, and a new one takes place. It’s a tale as old as time.
Every year’s cycle has its own set of trends. Some are novel concepts, while others come from old-school thoughts. Some come back after years of dormancy, while others remain flash-in-the-pan concepts.
On the other hand, some trends go beyond their virality due to their solid foundations. They become timeless or grow into more complex ideas. Since they reflect the ever-changing cultural and social moods, some grow with them.
Let’s go over some trends that have permeated the modern dating landscape. But before that, let’s go into why people follow such phenomena in the first place.
Why Do People Follow Dating Trends?
Trends are fleeting. But despite their ever-changing nature, many still go along with them anyway. Why, you ask? These reasons should give you some clarity:
People want to feel they belong
As much as some scoff at dating and relationship trends on TikTok and other platforms, they’re not social ills. And with that, people who follow them aren’t shallow or weak.
Psychologist Pamela B. Rutledge agrees with this notion. She even points to social connection as a primary reason. This psychological concept refers to people’s desire to fit into a social group and connect with other people.
This connection is a basic human need, as we’ve evolved to rely on other people. Following a trend might not be as crucial to survival as outrunning a predatory animal. However, mankind’s evolution has helped our brains to read social signals.
No one is immune to trends
Everyone is susceptible to relationship trends, especially younger people. Why? They’re still finding their place in the world.
As kids become independent, they look for outlets to express their individuality. For some, trends answer their desire for affiliation and belongingness.
They may cringe if they look back at this once they grow older, but they can’t deny how much that has helped them figure themselves out.
Although younger people are more prone to following trends, this doesn’t mean that older adults are in the clear. Some digital-savvy older men and women catch on to them quickly. They may even find them interesting enough to follow to add some spice to their love lives.
Regardless of age, following a dating trend isn’t bad. If people think it resonates with them, they hop on the bandwagon.
Modern Dating Trends
Now that the “why” is out of the way, let’s get to the specifics. These are just some of the current trends daters have been following on- and offline:
#1: Conscious dating
There’s nothing wrong with dating without an agenda. Many single people meet each other with this mindset because it’s fun!
However, more and more people have been pining for quality over quantity. And that’s not unreasonable. The desire to settle down with one person will eventually permeate.
Being in a relationship is one thing. How you show up in it is another. Conscious dating refers to one’s awareness of their relationships.
This trend has a few requirements.
First, exercise thoughtfulness and mindfulness about the partner you want. Second, be open to the possibility of rejection. And lastly, set boundaries to ensure you’re meeting your needs.
#2: Slow dating
If conscious dating is all about awareness, slow dating is what its name entails: taking time. This trend means pacing yourself as you and a match get to know each other. Once you’ve built a connection, decide whether to keep the ball rolling.
This trend emerged during the pandemic when strict lockdown and quarantine restrictions were in place. People couldn’t make offline progress in the relationship department, so they used their time to reflect.
Even if years have passed since COVID-19, slowing down is a lesson you should apply to your dating life. Love’s not a contest anyway, so what’s the rush?
#3: Contra-dating
Everybody has their type, yes? Some might want to date someone their age match. Others want to find love with someone from another culture. You may have even submitted an essay in the “Preferences” section of your dating profile.
But even if types are normal, some have broken their old habits and veered away from them. Instead, they’ve gone for people outside their usual types. Why? Perhaps they felt boxed in by their preferences. If not, they simply wanted to expand their dating horizons and meet new people.
Contra-dating can be intimidating. However, it’s never a bad thing to step outside your box. Open your mind and embrace possibilities! You may be surprised at what you’ll encounter.
#4: Micro-flirting
Subtlety is just as impactful as boldness.
With this logic, some daters take the low-key route in their romantic endeavors. Micro-flirting is among those understated tactics. It’s not that far off from flirting, but it’s on the cautious scale with body language and subtext as the major players.
Here’s an example to illustrate how it plays out.
Say you’ve only recently acknowledged your growing feelings for a friend. That shift has caused you to be more observant, catching tiny details that could’ve been easily overlooked, such as their new haircut. Using your observation, you compliment them on their new hairstyle.
Subtle, isn’t it?
#5: Parallel play
Quality time doesn’t always mean doing the same things together. What if there’s a way you both can do different things while in the same space?
Say hello to parallel play. It’s mainly for couples, but you can also do it when dating.
This trend doesn’t require you and your match to engage in the same activities. Instead, it encourages individuality and independence. For example, you’re enjoying a cozy night at home. You can be reading a book you just bought while they’re solving a crossword puzzle.
Experts agree this phenomenon is healthy.
“This independence and autonomy contribute to a well-rounded and fulfilling relationship, allowing each individual to grow personally while sharing a life together,” neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez tells The Knot.
Why not give this a try?
Dating trends aren’t the be-all and end-all of relationships, but there’s nothing wrong with following harmless ones. Who knows? They may even strengthen your partnerships.
References
Blakemore, Erin. 2024. “Why Do We Blindly Follow Trends—Even When They’re Bad for Us?” National Geographic. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/why-do-we-follow-trends-even-when-theyre-bad-for-us.
Cuccinelli, Jamie. 2023. “2024’s About to Hit Different With These New Relationship & Dating Trends.” The Knot. https://www.theknot.com/content/dating-trends.