Valuable First Date Tips for Every Dater

Are you a rookie or a seasoned dater? Regardless, these first date tips will help you have a good time with your match.

First dates can be a lot, regardless of what kind of dater you are.

If you’re a dating rookie, you might find yourself scouring the internet for first date tips from experts. Many questions arise, such as what to wear and where to go.

Meanwhile, if you’re a seasoned dater, you might have a perfected routine. Yet, you still wonder what you’re doing wrong and why you’re still not in a relationship.

The thing about first dates is that they’re always different. No matter the times you’ve gone on them, you’ll always have a different experience—good, bad, or ugly.

With this, you can never have too much advice. Make your dates better with this compilation of valuable tips. From questions to good first date ideas, we’ve got you covered.

Asking Somebody Out

Wanting to date someone is one thing. Asking them out is another. It’s a nerve-wracking matter that scares even some of the most confident daters from time to time. Why? Putting yourself out there makes you vulnerable to the sting of rejection.

Much research has noted that social pain (emotional responses to rejection or ostracism) has similar neurochemical and neural substrates as physical pain. This explains why getting turned down feels painful.

For some, that pain is enough to scare them away from asking people out. For others, this pushes them to go the noncommittal route.

As intimidating as it is, there’s no other way to ask someone out but to go straight to the point. Don’t forget to arm yourself with confidence and boldness when you do. These pointers should help you better your odds:

#1: Stop overthinking

Sometimes, you can be your own worst critic. You’re right to be scared of rejection, but don’t let that stop you in your tracks. Don’t get into your own head; just go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? Still, whatever they say doesn’t define you.

#2: Don’t beat around the bush

Remember what we said about being direct? Leave vagueness out the door. Get to the specifics and be unapologetic about it.

Also, keep plans simple. While you should make a good first impression, there’s no need to make yourself stand out. The best date is one where you can level and connect.

Here’s how to date: stop putting up pretenses.

#3: Authenticity is the name of the game

Learning how to date means embracing your true self. As corny as it sounds, we should all quit trying to be someone we’re not. We can only play charades for so long.

Instead of putting up a pretense, present your most genuine self. It’s a lot less stressful than faking it until you make it.

Easing the Anxiety

First date jitters are real. We’re sure you’ve felt that anxiety at least once at some point. Since you can’t predict how they’ll play out, it’s only natural to feel nervous and overthink.

But don’t let your nerves take over. They stop you from being yourself and fully enjoying a first-date experience. You can’t have fun dates if you let your anxiety freeze you.

A calm state of mind is best for everyone involved. Keep your nerves in check by adopting these habits:

#1: Own up to your nervousness

Whenever someone tells you they rarely get nervous on first dates, they’re probably lying. Being honest about it will make you feel less stressed about your date. It may even establish vulnerability and intimacy, adding overall comfort.

#2: Stay away from anxiety-inducing substances

Now that you’ve recognized your discomfort, avoid things that trigger it. Just because you’re nervous doesn’t mean you should down a shot of liquor to pump yourself up. Go for more therapeutic substances like tea to manage your feelings.

#3: Think about or do something calming

Keep yourself in check by finding or creating a relaxing environment. Try walking your nerves off, journaling your feelings away, or meditating for a few minutes.

Take a little time to think of other things to calm yourself. You can’t think of a date idea or outfit if you’re in a bundle of nerves.

#4: Be kind to yourself

Dates aren’t performances. You’re not an artist gearing up for a concert. Don’t put any unnecessary pressure on yourself just to impress a match. Treat yourself kindly, even if you’re a bit of a nervous wreck.

Want to have a fun time? Come up with a good date idea.

Planning Accordingly

Did your match say yes? Great! But the hard work doesn’t stop there.

Your first date won’t magically sort itself out. You need a plan. You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard, but you also don’t want to appear complacent.

These elements are part of every first date checklist. Make sure to add them to yours too:

#1: Location

Have you ever wondered why many first date tips online are location or activity suggestions? Here’s why:

The setting sets the tone for how your first date will run. Unless you’ve figured out your match’s preferences from the get-go, choose neutral places with no pressure and minimal distractions.

Your location should allow you and your match to focus on each other. You don’t want to be stuck somewhere you don’t like and, worse, discover you two aren’t compatible in the long run.

We recommend going to low-key places like local cafes and bars. If things don’t go as planned, you can leave after finishing your drink. But if you and your match click well, you’re free to keep things going.

#2: Stories

Doing your homework on each other is important, especially if you’ve only met online.

Your investigation doesn’t have to be a full background check. A quick scan should give you enough information to fill in the blanks.

But remember, dates aren’t job interviews. You shouldn’t treat each other like applicants and run through your respective resumes.

If you want better connections, you should swap stories instead. Research published in the International Journal of Listening has shown that sharing authentic experiences brings people closer together.

When sharing something about yourself, highlight your values and vulnerability. The ending should ideally be relatable and optimistic or humorous.

#3: Outfit

If there’s a piece of first date advice you might be tired of hearing, it’s this: look your best.

It’s common sense and the bare minimum, but a reminder won’t hurt.

Fortunately, you don’t need expensive clothes to look good. What use is an expensive dress or suit if it doesn’t complement you?

Price tags won’t matter if you don’t look and feel comfortable with what you’re wearing. They distract you, taking your focus and attention away from your date.

You don’t have to feel horrible just to look great. You can look decent while feeling relaxed. These two concepts aren’t mutually exclusive.

Wear something comfortable and appropriate that reflects your personality.

There’s a reason first date advice lists always encourage preparedness.

#4: Subjects

On a first date, it’s normal to have moments of silence. But it’ll be awkward if they linger longer than necessary. You need something to talk about.

Having topics at the ready is always helpful. You don’t want your date to feel scripted, but you should keep the wheels turning. Conversation subjects keep discussions flowing.

Topics should ideally be light and low-pressure. But if hard subjects come up, don’t back away and change them. Since you’re getting to know each other, you might as well go for it and get your takes off.

#5: Options

First dates are stressful. As if that's not bad enough, some things that can go wrong might go wrong. The last thing you want to have is more burden.

With this, have some date options in your back pocket. Putting all your eggs in one basket is never ideal, so we recommend having some alternatives.

It’s like planning date outfits; you shouldn’t always stick to one option. Similarly, amazing date ideas can come from random choices.

Let’s say you’ve picked a specific place, only to find out they don’t accept cashless payments. It would be embarrassing if you only brought your card and didn’t have location alternatives. Avoid such mishaps; have other spots on your list.

Logistics can get annoying to sort out. But once you get that out of the way, you’ll also eliminate a lot of the awkwardness and stress.

#6: Intentions

You don’t need to share your life story on the first date (even if you already know each other prior). However, you should bring your preferences, priorities, and non-negotiables to the table.

The least you can do is be open about what you’re looking for. Your transparency will encourage your match to display the same honesty.

No dating intention is shameful, even though they might be unconventional (provided that they’re harmless, of course). But whatever your motive is, stick to your guns and be upfront. This lets your date know what page you’re on and saves both of you time from guessing games.

You can’t get to know each other without asking first date questions.

The Art of Asking First Date Questions

Conversations are two-way streets. You can’t expect anything meaningful from a first date if only one person runs the show. This is why asking dating questions should be a given.

You’re getting to know each other, and yes-or-no responses can only do so much to fill in the blanks. We recommend preparing these questions before your date happens:

What’s your ideal weekend like?

Starting with a casual question like this breaks the ice and creates a lighter atmosphere.

What is “home” to you?

Are you comfortable enough to go into deeper territory? Asking a question like this goes beyond the surface, setting the stage for a closer connection.

If you could invent something, what would it be and why?

Don’t like awkward silences? Snap out of lulls with hypothetical questions to keep conversations engaging.

The Best First Date Ideas Anyone Can Pull Off

We know how first dates can be scary. But they don’t have to be experiences straight out of your nightmares.

Among the numerous first date tips, here’s one that can help you have a positive experience: create relaxing environments that propagate genuine enjoyment.

But the thing about this is that you need to craft good date ideas.

Fortunately for you, we have some suggestions for your first outing. We’ve placed them in specific categories to fit your moods and preferences.

Understated Dates

Keep the pressure at bay by going on low-key dates. They help you focus on your match without taking away from the enjoyment. Consider these ideas for less stressful outings:

#1: Coffee dates

There’s a reason this idea is a staple among first date listicles. Few things are as classic and relaxing as good conversations over a cup (or two) of joe. You can’t go wrong with sipping your favorite coffee with someone you like.

#2: Museum visits

Perhaps you can owe it to their silent environments, but exploring museums can be quite intimate. As if the cultural immersion isn’t good enough, the conversations between exhibits are another thing to look forward to.

#3: Bookstore browsing

Whether you’re a bookworm or not, there’s something romantic about exploring bookstores. What more if you do that with your person of affection? Not only do you get to add to each other’s reading lists, but you also get to know one another much better based on your book recommendations.

Budget-Friendly Dates

We can’t deny that dates can be expensive. But aside from the price tag, you don’t want to pour in a hefty financial investment over something uncertain. Save your wallets (and feelings) with these ideas:

#1: Candlelight dinner at home

Do you hate reservations and long lines? You’re not alone. Save yourselves from the trouble of long waiting times by having dinner at home.

Just because you’re at home doesn’t mean you can’t make it romantic. Create an intimate setup by lighting a candle and beautifully plating your favorite bites. And the best part is you don’t have to pay for anything.

#2: Game night

Have fun without breaking the bank by having a game night. Bust out your favorite board game to partake in some nostalgia. Let out that deck of cards that hasn’t seen the light of day. If not, fire up your console and play the latest version of your favorite video game.

#3: DIY spa date

Get some much-deserved R&R (rest and relaxation, for those unaware) by recreating a spa session at home. Put your go-to products to good use and treat each other to a relaxing night. Don’t forget to light your favorite scented candle for extra flair.

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Consider this compilation of first date tips as your friendly resource. If you find yourself stumped (or lost), you can always go back to this for some much-needed guidance. Good luck!

References

Zane, Zachary, and Gigi Engle. 2020. “Here's the Right Way to Ask Somebody Out on a Date.” Men's Health. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25413723/how-to-ask-someone-out-date/

Van Edwards, Vanessa. 2025. “19 First Date Tips Guaranteed to Land Your Second Date.” Science of People. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/first-date-tips/#make-your-stories-count