Why do most women prefer men to make the first move in dating?

Many women still prefer men to initiate contact due to discomfort, anxiety, traditional gender roles, fear of rejection, and fear of negative perceptions [1-5]. Despite evolving dating norms, these factors often contribute to women's hesitation in approaching men first [6].

How can I approach a woman respectfully?

To approach a woman respectfully, it's important to **read the room and choose an appropriate time** [7]. Don't rush into things; instead, **gauge her openness to being approached** [8]. Additionally, **be yourself and let your natural confidence shine through** [8, 9]. Making eye contact can also help communicate your intentions [9].

What is the best way to make a good first impression when meeting a woman?

First impressions are critical and can last for months [10]. The 'primary effect' highlights the importance of initial interactions [10]. Therefore, approach women with confidence and respect, ensuring your initial interaction is positive and genuine [8, 9].

How important is body language when approaching a woman?

Body language is an essential tool when building connections [9]. Making eye contact can communicate your intentions without saying a word [9]. Ensure your body language reflects confidence and genuine interest.

What should I do if I am afraid of rejection when approaching a woman?

Fear of rejection is a common concern for both men and women [4]. It's important to remember that rejection is a part of dating and doesn't define your worth [4]. Focus on being yourself and initiating contact respectfully, understanding that not every interaction will lead to a relationship [8, 9].

How To Approach Women Anywhere

Man approaching a woman while walking down a street

Pay attention; here’s how to approach women like a true gentleman.

Let’s say you see a group of females while enjoying a fun night with friends. One lady catches your eye, and she notices you as well. You lock eyes, awaiting the other’s move.

You don’t want to drag this on and lose the chance. So, you pace yourself slowly, wanting to start things off on the right foot. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

First impressions last. Numerous studies have proven that over the years. A 2017 study even noted that they linger for months.

We can attribute this to the primary effect. It’s a psychological phenomenon that refers to a person’s inclination to recall the initial items in a list or the initial events in a sequence.

This is why, when dating, you should know how to approach women.

Making the first move is an art a gentleman should master. How should men like you go about it? Allow this entry to guide you.

Why Don’t Women Approach Men?

Like most things, dating has undergone an evolution. Modern daters have eschewed traditional strategies in favor of more contemporary approaches. Such moves include women making the first advances.

“It’s the 21st century already,” some say to justify why women get the ball rolling. And they’re not entirely wrong. Shame is a wasted feeling, after all. Why wait for something to land in your lap (in this case, men approaching women) when you can get it yourself in a quicker fashion?

While that gesture isn’t an issue, most ladies would still rather have men taking those bold first steps. And they have their reasons:

Discomfort and anxiety

For some ladies, the idea of approaching a guy is enough to induce palpitations and sweaty palms. “What-ifs” come flashing in, stacking additional fears in their already-weary minds.

If many men get queasy thinking about how to approach a female, women feel the same way when wearing those shoes. Try as they may, some just can’t muster the courage to do that, even if they spend hours giving themselves a pep talk in front of the mirror.

Unfamiliarity

People say a simple hello is all it takes to hit things off. But here’s one thing they often overlook: unfamiliarity.

Many women are used to men making the first move. Even if the former were open to doing it themselves, they have no idea how. Both parties can be at a loss and get themselves nowhere.

Also, not only do they have strategies to figure out, but they also have to confront anxiety (as discussed in the previous section) and social expectations.

Traditional gender roles

Since we’re on the subject of expectations, let’s briefly discuss one of them: gender roles. Society expects men to be the dominant party while women are the submissive ones. Younger generations continue to challenge this, but the belief remains in many older ones.

If old-school notions persist, the idea of men not approaching women would remain unheard of. It would raise eyebrows and earn side-eyes, as most believe and assign the pursuit and initiation of relationships to men.

A man knowing how to approach a woman in private

As he learns how to approach a woman, a man must confront his fear of being rejected.

Fear of rejection

Men grapple with the fear of how to approach a woman. Likewise, such fear also hinders women.

Nobody likes rejection. The pain, shame, and embarrassment it causes can take an emotional toll, especially for sensitive and fragile hearts. It also triggers insecurities, sowing self-doubt.

Some daters consider its consequences as enough reason to stop chasing what they genuinely want. They get in their own way for self-preservation.

Fear of perception

Rejection isn’t the only thing stopping women in their tracks. Judgements also give them cold feet. The fear of being perceived is alive and well, even in the 21st century.

Every woman wants to feel confident. Sadly, that fear of perception stops them from fully being themselves. Some women would rather not deal with that, even if it costs their happiness.

When some people see women approaching men instead of the other way around, they feel their sensibilities getting violated. They think the latter looks desperate just because they made the first move. Side comments about looks and behavior may or may not follow.

How to Approach a Woman Respectfully

Kickstarting a romantic pursuit is a challenge for even the most seasoned daters. Even with their wealth of knowledge and experience, they can’t tell if their approaches will work.

While there aren’t strict rules for making the first move, there are general pointers that can help you start things off on the right note. Whether you’re a longtime dater or a first-timer, here are tips on how to approach women:

#1: Read the room.

Here’s how to approach a woman in public or private: Pick an appropriate time. Don’t just go up to a woman and expect magic to happen.

Let’s say you see a beautiful woman sitting alone on a park bench. Don’t walk towards her and make your move right away. Feel things out first and see if she seems open to someone approaching her. If she notices you and gives you a green light, that’s a sign for you to proceed.

#2: Act naturally.

Be yourself. You may have heard this advice a million times. But there’s a reason many experts say this is the best way to approach a lady.

Few things are as alluring as a person’s natural aura. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, you exude a genuine confidence that stands out. For most (if not all) women, that authenticity makes a man extra attractive.

#3: Let your eyes do the talking.

Words alone aren’t enough to build connections. Body language is also an essential tool in your arsenal.

So, should you make your advances, remember to make eye contact. Your eyes are the windows to your soul. You may not have said anything yet, but they communicate your intentions as loudly as words do.

Knowing how to approach women is half the battle in winning one over. Now that you’ve read the pointers above, you should be able to get off to a good start. Good luck!

Reference

Okten, Irmak Olcaysoy. 2018. “Studying First Impressions: What to Consider?” Association for Psychological Science. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/studying-first-impressions-what-to-consider.

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How to Approach Women Anywhere