As the digital age has progressed, long-distance relationships have grown in prevalence, enabling more and more people to connect across national borders. But let’s face it: A long-distance relationship is not for the weak of heart.
Maintaining an LDR relationship comes with its fair share of difficulties. Though trust and communication are essential in all relationships, LDR necessitates twice as much effort. (Having used the abbreviation, we doubt you even have to look up ‘LDR meaning’ in your browser.)
In this article, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about navigating a long-distance relationship. Despite the fact that 40% of this type of relationship eventually fails, according to a study published in Easelly, we believe the 60% who make it work adhere to the following long-distance relationship advice.
What Can You Do to Make an LDR Work?
As people who have bridged relationships across geographical boundaries for decades, take heart in these suggestions on how to make long-distance work so you can thrive despite the challenges.
Set Schedules and Plans
Long-distance relationships are vulnerable to uncertainties. One way to combat that is for you to set schedules and plans that you both can look forward to. It gives your relationship a sense of hope, optimism, and stability.
This is especially true if you live in different time zones, which makes spending time a bit more difficult. We recommend you both share a calendar where you can record your schedules and planned video calls or dates to keep things more organized.
Make Communication Important but Not Forced
You don’t have to keep track of the number of calls you’ve had in a day or a week as a measurement of your love. Remember that you live different lives in different cities, so give each other grace and personal space.
Besides, communication works best when it occurs naturally rather than when it is forced. That could mean there will be days when you do not flood each other's chatbox, and that’s fine. People get busy, and we all need some time to ourselves.
Be Slow to Judgement
This also relates to the previous matters discussed. Given the fact that you are physically separated, your brain can trick you into imagining things that aren’t happening. As a result, you may feel more isolated from your partner or project negative emotions onto them.
If something feels off, you don’t have to react on impulse. Try seeing things from a different perspective, or ask your partner gently. Emphasis on "gently." Give them the benefit of the doubt first. As much as possible, steer away from thinking negatively.
Work on Building Yourself
We understand that having a long-distance partner makes you want to devote as much time as possible to them, but that does not mean you have to completely disregard yourself. Do not let your relationship be the focal point of your life. Instead, see it as a source of inspiration for you to improve.
While your partner is busy grinding in another country, instead of worrying about who they might meet there, use this as an opportunity for you to advance your career and improve your skills even further. This makes you attractive to the job market and, more importantly, to your partner, who sees you working hard.
Be Supportive of Each Other
Did you know that according to a Gottman Institute study, 86% of married couples who are still together after 6 years are more likely to turn to their partners than couples in distress? This means that couples, especially those in a long-distance marriage, should pay extra attention to their partner's attempts to connect emotionally.
In an LDR, be more deliberate about responding to each other’s attempt to connect. If you know your partner has an important day ahead or is stressed out at work, send them an encouraging message or call to see how they’re doing. By doing so, you’re making your partner feel you are present even if you aren’t physically there.
Maintain and Respect Autonomy
In relation to being slow to pass judgment, it is critical to recognize the value of maintaining and respecting each other's autonomy within the relationship. For this reason, choosing a partner who shares your values is essential to preventing clashes of beliefs and escalating animosity.
Remember that as long as it does not negatively impact your relationship, your partner's decisions may occasionally require some compromise and greater understanding on your part. Most of all, you should never take complete control of their choices.
Find Ways to Date Even When Apart
Who said dates are only for people who are geographically close? Again, we live in a time when almost anything is digitally possible. Dates, whether you online stream a movie together or plan a meet-up halfway between your countries, are essential because they fuel the romance in your relationship.
Got no ideas in mind? You can work out together, share photos of your walks, organize a romantic dinner while video calling, or have a video call while cooking. You can even schedule days where you do each other's interests to learn more about each other.
Focus On the Positive Aspects of Your Relationship
We understand how difficult it is to see a long-distance relationship as a positive thing, but understanding and respecting the reason for it is a great way to change your perspective.
Are they there because this is where they grew up? Is it because of job demands? Is it because of a financial situation? These reasons are all common and understandable. Maintain an open mind and patience as you work to strengthen your bond.
Make Sure This Setup Is Temporary
The most important thing to remember when in an LDR is that things shouldn't remain this way forever. It's possible that you both still reside in your respective residences, but you both need to make a concerted effort to bridge the distance.
Discuss where you both feel most at ease and where you can both benefit, particularly if you have to take your family and careers into account.
Long-Distance Relationship Gift Ideas
In addition to making every effort to stay in touch with them, why not give them something to remember you by? Here are some adorable and heartwarming long-distance relationship gifts your partner will undoubtedly appreciate:
Body Pillow
This is the perfect gift that truly makes it seem like you’re beside them on days when they feel like a good rest is much needed. In addition to its human-sized size, your partner will feel extra comfortable thanks to its squishy, flexible, and naturally cooling properties.
Trust us, your sweetheart will appreciate your thoughtfulness, especially with the improved sleep quality this gift provides.
Duffel Bag
This is one way to remind your partner that you want them secured in their travels. What’s great about this gift is you have plenty of options to choose from: colors, type of compartments, adding a personal touch, and the type of gear they prefer.
Talk about a functional, fashionable, and thoughtful gift!
Coffee Mug
A coffee mug is always a good choice, especially if you can personalize it to reflect their personality! You can get a heat-sensitive mug that shows a secret message when heated, a rechargeable smart mug that keeps their coffee hot, or one where there’s a painted image of their pet cat on because you know it makes them happy.
The options are endless with one! All you have to do is get to know them well in order to determine which type of coffee mug is perfect for them.
Customized Keychain
Keychains are getting the hype these days, which means you won’t have any problem looking for one. You can have one ordered online or buy one at the nearest shopping mall.
And you can choose from a wide variety! You can have a map of both of your countries, a photo locket keychain with both of your pictures, the infamous Sonny Angels, or just your initials as trinkets!
Customized Care Package
There's nothing more romantic than a personalized care package. The fact that you're filling the box with delights you know they'll enjoy demonstrates just how kind and attentive you are as a partner.
You can choose from a range of food options, tea bags or coffee blends, dried flowers, and lastly, don’t forget to include a handwritten letter!
Photo Book
Back in the day, our grandparents used to preserve their photos in photo albums. These days, you can compile them creatively in a photo book! An advantage of this is you can aesthetically arrange photos to your liking and add some witty texts or captions along.
This will offer your lover something to reflect back on and will undoubtedly make them smile and even giggle while looking through.
Your Hoodie or Sweatshirt
This particular gift sticks out from the list because, according to an article in African Rich, women find their boyfriends' hoodies comfortable and this promotes intimacy. They also like the cozy feeling they get from wearing them and think it's a great way to show off their interest.
Plus, it looks cool on a lot of different types of clothing!
Long-Distance Relationship Games
Regardless of your distance, there are activities for couples like you. Make time for any of these games to keep your relationship interesting and fun!
Couple Quiz Game
Spice up your LDR dates by taking quizzes for couples! You can either look for free quizzes online, such as Lovify or get out your whiteboards and markers and make up some questions to see if your partner truly knows you!
What makes this game interesting is that you can evaluate each other's personalities on a lighter note and compare the results. Even if you lose, you will get to know your partner better, which is a huge plus in a long-term relationship.
Two Truths and a Lie
You don’t need an app for this one. You can just have your typical video call and think of interesting facts and a challenging lie about you. Then, let your partner guess which one is fabricated. To add to the fun, the loser must follow the winner’s dare.
Lip Reading Challenge
During a video call, one side must be muted. As your partner speaks, you must guess the exact word or phrase they are saying simply by reading their lips. You can create distinct categories according to your relationship or personal interests. Get ready to cry from laughing so hard!
Would You Rather
This game has always been a go-to, whether you're around friends, family, or a romantic partner. This is your chance to ask silly questions while also being insightful. For example, "Would you rather be able to walk on water or predict people's times of death?"
Asking sexy and playful questions is another option if you are feeling flirtatious.
Hangman
This game may bring back memories of your early years, which makes it even more enjoyable now that you can play it with your partner. You can play it on an app or alternately come up with a word and sketch the man on paper, just like in old times.
But try not to take things too seriously. Nobody enjoys a bitter loser!
Distance with love is difficult; filling each day with longing and missed opportunities. Passion can wane and love can be tested, but as long as you are both committed to working together, your relationship will flourish.
As Albert Ellis stated, which we believe best captures LDR relationships among all long-distance relationship quotes, "In many ways, the art of love is largely the act of persistence.”
The act of consistently choosing to love your person, even when it is difficult, defines love as an art form. Just keep in mind that love is not blind or unconditional to the point of harming oneself for it to work.
If you adhere to the aforementioned advice, we’re confident you will never run out of ways to keep long-distance relationships from becoming strained and boring.
References:
Olawale, G. (2023). “15 reasons why girls like wearing their boyfriends' hoodies and how to rock your hoodie.” African Rich. https://www.africanrich.com/blogs/fashion/15-reasons-why-girls-like-wearing-their-boyfriends-hoodies-and-how-to-rock-your-hoodie?srsltid=AfmBOooyhWe4kgB8SCFGxJw7kc9FIp7fxvezF2xQwjDpBxQTLjbO3Ki
The Gottman Institute. (2024). “An Introduction to Emotional Bids and Trust.” Gottman. https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotional-bids-and-trust/
Tomboc, K. (2019). “Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? (An Infographic).” Easelly. https://www.easel.ly/blog/long-distance-relationship-statistics-infographic/#:~:text=It%20turns%20out%20that%2040,for%20are%20at%2028%20percent.