Real love and fake people—a common technique most romance scammers use nowadays. They’ll make you think they’re looking for real love, all the while they’re fake people hiding behind an embellished profile.
These scam artists have silver tongues for scamming people for money. They often target desperate and lonely men looking for love online. Today we’ll dive deeper into the whole schtick of what romance scamming is all about, and why people are warier of online dating.
Romance scams and internet dating scams have terrorized the online dating scene since the '90s. Believe it or not, these scams existed long before online dating was a thing, and they’re only getting better and more convincing with time. With the help of AI, for example, anyone can generate convincingly real images; 8 out of 10 people who are not keen will fall for such fake pictures.
So let’s examine scammers, their activities, and the benefits they derive from scamming other online daters.
First Things First, Define “Scammer”
Scammers, often called scam artists, exploit other people’s gullibility so they can siphon their money or extort them into doing their bidding. They use a persona, a fake account, or a front to hide their identities.
Their approach often starts with love-bombing and then forming a pseudo-relationship with the potential victims. Oblivious online daters who fall for the first part of their trick are then extorted or blackmailed into doing things against their will. To put it simply, romance scammers take advantage of other people for their selfish gains.
Scammers can be anyone—an individual, or a multi-level business that hires hundreds of workers to trick clients into sending them money or revealing their details, such as their bank accounts. They thrive in dating apps, posing as women looking for love and relationships.
Beware, romance scamming comes in a variety of forms.
Catfishing
Catfishing is the most common romance scam in the dating scene. It involves impersonating another person by using their pictures or likeness and pretending to be them.
Most of the time, it’s a harmless scam; people who catfish are people with not-so-desirable features or subpar looks. Hence, they would use a good-looking person’s pictures to feel what it’s like to be pursued by others.
However, catfishing can also be used for the extreme. There have been instances where catfishers were able to con online daters of their money. The scammer would pretend to be a beautiful woman and message potential victims. If the latter seems interested, the catfisher would lovebomb them to gain their favor.
Once they earn the victim’s trust, then their manipulation can begin. Most of the time, they would tell the victim a sob story—a family member is hospitalized and needs financial help, or some other scenario that tugs at the victim’s heartstrings. Not wanting to disappoint their love interest, the victim then sends them money. When the catfisher gets what they want, they’ll cut off contact and ghost the victim, leaving them dumbfounded at what happened.
That said, always verify the identity of the person you’re talking to before giving in to their requests. You never know if that person is real or just some guy committing internet dating scams.
Phishing and Reeling
As the name suggests, phishing is the act of luring victims in, the same way as fishing. When the victim takes a bite, the scammer then reels them in and takes advantage of them.
This catfishing method involves sending potential victims links through chats and messages. Clicking on these seemingly harmless links can lead to the scammer hacking your account or installing malicious software on your system, compromising your online security. This form of love fraud can be extremely risky, especially for not-so-tech-savvy victims.
Military Scams
It’s no surprise that military men and women are attractive. Consequently, military scams have become one of the most common forms of catfishing in online dating. What is a military scam, how does it work, and how do you avoid it?
A military scam is a form of catfishing where the scammer pretends to be a member of the military. The reason why this is so convenient for scammers is because of the fact that it provides multiple safeguards. One, since they are “in the military,” they can avoid video chat by saying they are stationed somewhere with limited reception.
This facade also keeps their potential victim from requesting a face-to-face meeting. A “military personnel” on a tour of duty is not allowed to leave their station, after all. And lastly, since they are usually stationed for years at a time, it gives scammers a reason to ask for money. They’ll say they don’t have access to their funds until they get home, so they may need help financially. As an assurance, they’ll promise to pay back, and more, once they get home.
However, these are red flags and should be treated with caution. If you give in to their requests, they’ll ghost and block you. To avoid this scam, you may want to ask them questions that only real military personnel know, such as their rank, and commander’s name, or ask for a picture of them. If they give reasons why they can’t jump into a video call with you, let alone provide you with a current photo, then you’re likely talking to a catfisher.
Extortion and Blackmail
This kind of scam is pretty intense due to the fact that they’re not isolated in online dating—they can happen anywhere, even in a work environment. Extortion refers to the use of force or threatening actions to attain money, information, or anything of value. On the other hand, blackmail refers to the threat of exposing something valuable or personal in exchange for a lump sum of money, or valuable information, or to force victims to do their bidding.
These are mostly used by hackers and/or internet dating scammers who have access to valuable information. One common scenario is a victim sending private photos to someone whom they thought could be trusted. As a result, the scammer uses those photos to manipulate the victim.
For example, a scammer is disguising themselves as a woman, trying to talk to an unsuspecting man about the thought of doing something intimate. Usually, a lot of men would get riled up, send pictures, or say/do something that would bite them in the back later. Once the scammer has earned the man’s trust, they demand excessive amounts of cash to “feel better.” Whenever the victim denies sending the money, the scammer then reveals to the victim that they have valuable information and evidence that could ruin the victim’s life.
Lives Are Being Put At Risk!
Being manipulated by scammers not only takes a toll on people’s mental health but also their finances; it’s the fear of embarrassment that shakes their core. No one is safe when it comes to scamming in general. All these scammers want is money, entertainment, and attention.
With all these methods and technological advancements, romance scammers and scam artists can easily manipulate people, even the smart ones. AI imagery allows people to copy or take a picture and have the program manipulate the photo into something else.
The non-tech-savvy people are the most vulnerable to online scammers. They’re prone to online attacks with their limited knowledge of how technology works.
How to Avoid Getting Scammed
No one wants to get scammed, but the problem is, how do we avoid it?
It’s time to stand up to these bullies. Though many people are not tech-savvy nor do they have any immediate connections to a cybersecurity firm, there are ways to identify and avoid getting scammed by these internet frauds. According to fbi.gov, protect yourself from romance scams with this checklist:
Don’t Share Too Much Personal Information on Social Media
As much as possible, try not to post too much about your personal life. Sure, photos of your holiday getaway are fine—just make sure to not post pictures of where you live. Whatever you post online, the world sees it too!
● Never post anything about where you live to keep scammers from using your home address or other vital information. As much as possible, do not mention the village, nor show your house number in any picture/post online.
● Do not post your financial status lest you make yourself a target for scammers. Knowing your affluence allows scammers to gauge how much they can get from you.
● Never post about vital information—credit/debit cards, passports, family member’s information, and address.
● If you want to post stuff online, customize your settings on who can view them. If you don’t feel comfortable having your information or posts shared with the public, you can always change the preferences on who can view it.
Do Your Own Research (DYOR)
When it comes to online dating, check your facts! Do a little research. It doesn’t hurt to stalk a potential partner on some of their social media. Doing so allows you to cross-reference information and determine if they are who they say they are.
Here’s what you can do:
● Check photos. Check if they are AI-generated. You’d see weird shadings and inconsistencies in color and shade. The majority of AI-generated pictures tend to look a little too perfect, making them look like they were taken in a studio.
Not everyone goes to a studio to take photos for their dating profile; they just take photos from their phones. So be careful if their pictures look odd and inconsistent. You can also reverse-search photos to see their source.
● Cross-reference. Compare their profile with their other social media accounts. Check the name and other details for consistency. However, some may only have 1 social media app, but you can never be too careful right?
One way to check their legitimacy is to use the internet to cross-reference details. With technological advancements in the palm of your hands, you can have a search engine scan through the internet to see similarities.
● Ask them to take a video or a picture. Not just any photo or video, but one where they’re doing something very specific. For example, ask them to put a coin on their forehead, write down the date and time on a sheet of paper, or take a picture of themselves holding a shoe—something odd and specific to identify they’re real. If at all possible, a video call would be good evidence to know that the person you’re talking to is real and not a scammer.
● Check how often they post stuff on their timeline. Sometimes people are always doom-scrolling or spam-sharing memes or posts—being active every day, while others have lapses in their post chronology. However, this is not a preferred indicator if they’re actually the real person, but at least it’s an indicator that someone real is behind the account.
Ask Questions, a Lot of Them
One thing scammers hate is taking their time. Though some are very patient and precise, the majority of them don’t like playing around wasting their time. They want the victim to bite their lure immediately. So how do you stall them and make them uninterested? Keep asking questions. Try to analyze how they answer and what their answers are. If you see any inconsistencies between their answers and what they’ve talked about in the conversation, you might need to stay away from them.
Don’t Slack Off When You’re Meeting Someone Online
Romance scams happen because people are unaware of who they’re talking to. They don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. The last thing they want to have aside from a broken heart, is a frozen bank account. Scammers have been terrorizing the internet for decades and people need to be more educated about these things.
Who knows, maybe one day, someone who’s not mentally and emotionally strong will succumb to a scam, leading them into a dark road of self-loathing and embarrassment. Some older men give in to their loneliness and spend money for an online model, only to realize that they’re not talking to the model, but a scammer.
We, adults, have fully developed brains in our mid-20s; it is when we finally understand morality and ethics–what is morally good vs what is ethically correct. With that said, it doesn’t hurt to learn more about romance scams and use our knowledge to save ourselves from a lifetime of regret and trauma.
REFERENCES:
https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-frauds-and-scams/romance-scams
https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2023/02/romance-scammers-favorite-lies-exposed
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/07/03/heres-how-to-avoid-romance-scams-which-cost-consumers-1point14-billion-last-year.html
https://www.easyprey.com/scams-exploiting-emotions-with-alan-castel/