**What are some of the common emotional stages I might experience after a relationship ends, especially when thinking about my future and relationship goals?**

According to the source, grieving a broken relationship can feel like a roller coaster, with stages like ambivalence, shock, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and growth [3-8]. It's normal to experience a range of intense emotions as you process the loss and consider what you are looking for in the future [3, 7, 9].

**Is it normal to feel a deep sense of loss and sadness after a breakup, and how can I start to heal so I can eventually pursue a new, fulfilling relationship?**

Yes, feeling significant sadness, loneliness, and misery after a breakup is a normal response to such a loss [7, 9]. The source emphasizes the importance of allowing yourself to mourn this loss fully as part of the healing process [9]. Engaging in hobbies, prioritizing self-care, and allowing loved ones to provide comfort can also aid in moving forward [10, 11].

**How can I deal with the pain of a broken heart in a healthy way, rather than getting stuck in the past and hindering my ability to find a future partner?**

Dealing with heartbreak involves acknowledging the pain instead of fighting it [9, 12]. The source suggests mourning your loss, keeping yourself occupied with activities you enjoy or new interests, prioritizing your own well-being, and letting friends and family offer support [9-11]. Moving on is about rediscovering yourself and finding peace with the past to embrace the future [8, 12, 13].

**What does it mean to truly accept a breakup, and how does that relate to being ready to move on and potentially find a meaningful connection with someone new?**

Acceptance after a breakup involves coming to terms with the end of the relationship and no longer trying to change the past [8]. When you reach acceptance, the intense negative emotions fade, and you can be at peace with what happened. This state of mind allows you to look towards the future without the burden of the past and be open to new relationships when the time is right [8, 14].

**The idea of being alone after a breakup can be difficult. What are some initial steps I can take to rediscover myself and build a stronger sense of self, which might also make me a more attractive partner in the future?**

The source highlights that moving on is about rediscovering yourself [12]. Prioritizing yourself, engaging in hobbies you've neglected, and exploring your bucket list are key steps [10]. While being alone might feel frightening initially, redirecting your focus to your own interests and well-being will help you regain your sense of self and prepare you for future connections [10, 11].

Get Back on Your Feet: How to Move On from a Relationship

This is how to move on from a relationship in one piece.

Many have their own coping mechanisms to recover from a breakup. They create these little to-do lists and go through them every time they’re heartbroken.

You’ve likely read a thousand articles on how to move on from a relationship to follow in their footsteps. But no matter what you do, it doesn’t come any easier.

We understand if you’re tired of trying to figure everything out. But here’s something you should know: Some tips and strategies work, but they don’t guarantee absolute solutions.

Think of it as slapping a band-aid on a fresh wound—in this case, the wound in question is your broken heart. That cover-up may stop the bleeding, but it can only do so much to help you.

Moving on is more about rediscovering yourself rather than suppressing or eliminating the pain. Whether you like it or not, the hurt is inevitable.

Post-breakup healing requires patience. You must face it head-on, so buckle up, grab a pint of your favorite ice cream, and tackle it directly.

The Stages of a Breakup

Grieving a broken relationship is just as painful as mourning a loved one’s passing.

Per family therapist and author Claudia de Llano, the experience can feel like riding a roller coaster. One day, you’re calm and functional, and 24 hours later, you want to hole up in your room in sadness. Sometimes, you feel every emotion all at once, experiencing whiplash.

You can categorize these feelings into stages. Let’s go into each one so you can better understand the recovery process:

#1: Ambivalence

After a breakup, your mind and heart battle in a boxing match.

Your mind tells you the split is good for the long run, but your heart floods your brain with what-if scenarios. Understandably, their punches leave you in a mess.

#2: Shock

Breakups are shocking events, especially if you didn’t see them coming. The shock leads to denial because you’re simultaneously trying to absorb the pain and soak up the reality. You don’t like what’s happening and want to block the sting.

Refusing to confront the gravity of the situation, you’re likely to stay in contact with your ex as if nothing happened.

#3: Anger

Whether you anticipated the breakup or not, anger will always manifest after it (albeit in varying degrees).

You may get mad at your ex for having the audacity to break up with you. You may even act out and play the blame game.

You pray for their downfall and become bitter, destroying physical evidence of memories as their offenses run in a loop in your head.

#4: Bargaining

Regret comes after anger. At some point after the breakup, you look back at your relationship.

When you do, you start thinking of things you could’ve done differently. What-ifs keep creeping in, but this time stronger, as if to remind you of your issues.

You’re in what experts call the bargaining stage. You negotiate with your ex or fate itself to resurrect your relationship. Past events replay, and you make promises just for the sake of reconciliation. Control is slipping out of your hands, and you don’t like it one bit.

Healing from a breakup may mean going through a depressive phase.

#5: Depression

Weeks after your split and you’re still out of it. You’re isolating yourself in your bubble because you don’t know how to live without your ex. What’s the point of existing if the reason is out of the picture, right?

Depression is brutal, but it’s a normal response to losses like breakups. Nothing but sadness, loneliness, and misery consumes you as you grapple with the uncertainty of the future.

#6: Acceptance

As your sadness (gradually) fades, you come to terms with your breakup. The thought of moving on isn’t as scary as it initially was. All the contempt you had is now gone.

You're not trying to forget your relationship anymore. Instead, you’re trying to be at peace with it, knowing full well you can’t do anything to change the ending. You’re ready for your future, regardless of the unpredictability.

#7: Growth

This is when you know you’re healing from a breakup.

Your self-esteem has mostly (if not totally) recovered. Your social life isn’t the same as it once was, but it’s in a healthier place after your breakup. Your renewed and stronger sense of self makes you ready to take on the world.

While new relationships aren’t on your priority list, you don’t mind if they happen. Your ex no longer occupies real estate in your mind and heart, and you’re ready to welcome new faces.

How to Deal With Heartbreak

How do you go from stage one (ambivalence) to stage seven (growth)? Letting go of an ex (especially if it’s one you didn’t want to lose) is a tall order. However, it's possible.

Find peace by mourning your breakup and discovering yourself along the way. This is how to get over a broken heart and get back on your two feet stronger than before.

#1: Mourn your loss.

Your relationship undoubtedly shaped you. Losing it might have felt like also losing a part of you. The pain is inevitable, so there’s no use fighting it.

Once your breakup finally hits you, let yourself grieve. Experience every little thing post-breakup depression gives you.

Days move slowly, magnifying the sadness. But taking time to mourn this loss isn’t an issue some make it out to be. Feeling grief in its entirety takes a huge weight off your shoulders, liberating you.

#2: Keep yourself occupied.

At some point, you should realize your sadness is almost drowning you. And when it does, take this as your drive to get up and do something to snap out of your funk.

Look through ideas, remember the hobbies you’ve put on the back burner, and dust off your bucket list. These won't only keep you busy, but they'll help you regain your sense of self and perhaps even discover a new part of yourself.

#3: Prioritize yourself.

Since moving on is all about self-discovery, it only makes sense to prioritize yourself. Whether you like it or not, you’re out of the relationship. In this situation, you’ve got no one but yourself to rely on.

Being alone and lonely can seem frightening, especially if the breakup is fresh. But as you redirect your focus, someday, you'll find that you no longer have thoughts about your ex.

#4: Let people comfort you.

Isolation is a tempting option, but it’s not the healthiest. We know you’re in shambles right now, but acting like a lone wolf isn’t for the best.

Let your loneliness lead you to your other loved ones. Instead of judging you, they'll welcome you with open arms and give you the much-needed comfort and support in this trying time. They're looking out for you, so embrace their love.

…

If you don’t know how to move on from a relationship, you’ll never be able to find clarity. Don’t get stuck in the past when there’s a better future waiting for your participation.

Reference

Gupta, Sanjana. 2024. “From Heartbreak to Healing: Navigating the 7 Stages of a Breakup.” Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/from-heartbreak-to-healing-navigating-the-7-stages-of-a-breakup-8552187.

MENU