Long-distance relationships are tough. While we know sweet reunions are on the horizon, waking up alone still sucks. We would do anything to have our partners by our side.
The digital era has undoubtedly changed how long-distance relationships work.
A study published in the World Journal of Advanced Research and Reviews states that communication was traditionally limited to letters, telegraphs, and occasional phone calls. Because of these options, couples often experience long periods of distance-induced uncertainty and distress.
Technology solved many of these communication woes. But despite the added convenience, navigating distant relationships is still challenging (which we’ll elaborate on later).
Although they aren’t easy, making them work isn’t impossible. So, if you like someone from another town, state, or even country, don’t be discouraged.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach here. Circumstances and preferences vary among couples. What works for one may not apply to another.
Despite the differences, each approach shares core similarities. Here’s how to make a long-distance relationship work.
The Challenges of Long-Distance Dating and Marriage
There’s a reason many people don’t want to be in long-distance relationships. These are the inevitable obstacles you might face in this complex setup:
Communication
Since you and your partner aren’t in the same place, you should exert extra effort in conversations. Fortunately, social media and instant messaging platforms have made contact easier.
Still, text-based communication doesn’t cover all the bases. You can’t read nonverbal cues (which compose most of our communication) that add context to messages. Acronyms don’t always tell the whole story. As time passes, their meanings may even change. Don’t count out technical difficulties either since they can disrupt meaningful conversations.
Fear
A significant chunk of long-distance problems stems from fear. And that’s not a stretch. When you’re far away from each other, reassurance isn’t that easy to gain.
Sometimes, you can’t help but assume the worst. Does your partner no longer care about you? Are they cheating on you? What are they doing behind your back?
Fear is a part of human nature. You and your partner shouldn’t forget to check in with each other and be mindful of your triggers.
Time
When one has just woken up, the other is getting ready for bed. If one is home from work, the other is on their way to clock in for their shift. The point is that time isn’t exactly on your side, and there’s no changing that.
Time differences can cause strain when left unaddressed, making it necessary to double your efforts in meeting halfway.
Lifestyles
Long-distance couples usually live separate lifestyles. Because of your respective environments, you have unique experiences, different habits, and separate connections. That’s not necessarily bad; those differences can even strengthen your relationship.
Still, some apprehension isn’t an anomaly. Both parties may have concerns despite the strong love and commitment for and to each other.
How to Make a Relationship Work from a Distance
Couples have different ways of making their relationships work from afar. But they do have common threads. Take note of these tips on how to make a long-distance relationship work:
#1: Communicate!
We can’t overstate the significance of communication. And since you’re in separate parts of the world, being consistent with it is also all the more important.
We know it’s easy to keep your feelings to yourself, especially if they’re negative. But you can’t run away from them. Your partner can’t exactly tell how you’re doing because they can’t read your body language directly.
So, if you’re having a bad day, just be upfront and tell them. Days like that make you miss them more than usual. But they can’t give you the support you want and need if they don’t know what’s going on.
Communication requires clarity and directness. Any smidge of ambiguity is enough to fuel anxiety and trigger insecurities. If you have extremely busy days, for example, communicate that. It’ll save you both from trouble. Not only does this prevent fights, but it also provides more security.
#2: Make the most of your time together.
Whether you’re dating long-distance or in a long-distance marriage, in-person interactions are a rare luxury. Every chat or visit becomes a bigger deal.
Stay present and enjoy the moment whenever you’re together physically or virtually. Little things like setting your phone to “Do Not Disturb” mode during holiday dates can help you make the most of your conversations.
#3: Shake things up from time to time.
Technology offers convenience and allows you to unleash your creativity. Add entertaining activities to liven up your chats and calls and strengthen your bond. Instead of your usual sit-down Zooms, insert a romantic date night concept like wine-tasting to spice up an otherwise uneventful conversation.
#4: Plan for your future.
A long-distance relationship should have an endgame: your future reunion. Since it’s something you’re both anticipating, plan for it. Be specific with the details, from dates to cities. Being on the same page makes your separation more manageable.
While waiting for your permanent reunion, you should also plan small, special occasions. A visit or vacation will do the trick. It eases loneliness and adds excitement.
#5: Live your life.
The distance shouldn’t stop you from living your best life. You still have other matters to attend to, and your relationship shouldn’t be the only thing keeping you occupied.
Go out and catch up with friends. Spend time with your family members. Take up old hobbies you’ve left on the back burner. Get adventurous and try new things that have been on your bucket list for a while. All this nourishes you, giving you much-needed independence.
Since you can’t change the nature of your relationship, shift your energy to things you can control. Living your life will put you in a much better headspace than stressing out over uncontrollable factors.
Is Long-Distance Worth It?
Absolutely. Some may tell you to avoid this setup, but we say it’s worth fighting for.
Navigating the distance is challenging, but those difficulties can strengthen a couple. Once you and your partner reunite, your takeaways can solidify your foundation and better the relationship.
Now that you know how to make a long-distance relationship work, remember this: love is worth the struggle. Don’t let doubters convince you otherwise.
Reference
Murikkattu, Noel Ebby, Dhruvi Shah, Niharika Singh, Maitreyi Sidharth Bhatia, and Anjana Sinha. 2024. “The Experiences of Individuals in Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship Through Social Media.” World Journal of Advanced Research and Reviews 23, no. 2 (August): 2736-2743. https://doi.org/10.30574/wjarr.2024.23.2.2570.