Many people try their luck in love on dating sites and apps, even social media. That’s no surprise due to the endless possibilities they offer. You meet countless like-minded people and forge connections regardless of geographical boundaries and time zones.
But with all the success stories (and there are many!), there are also horror stories. Unfortunately, many of them involve online blackmail. These incidents (and others) have understandably scared some people off online dating.
It doesn’t make it better that such scams can be difficult to snuff out. But with this guide, you’ll know the signs to watch out for and protect yourself when the worst comes to worst.
Defining the Threat
Blackmailing is a criminal activity wherein the perpetrator threatens to release a victim’s confidential information or other private content in exchange for something of value, often money.
Breaking down the definition, this scam usually involves the following elements:
Abuse of trust
Blackmailers put up fronts to seem genuine and trustworthy. Once they’ve convinced their victims, they retrieve blackmail material through hacking and other means of fraud.
Fear and coercion
These scammers use threats to achieve their objectives. After luring a victim to hand over sensitive information, they put it at risk of public exposure. The fear they create pushes the victim to follow their demands as a form of self-preservation.
Anonymity and access
Since this type of blackmail happens virtually, perpetrators abuse the lack of restrictions and operate covertly. Detection becomes difficult for victims unless professionals intervene and assist.
Tell Me Lies | Signs of Online Blackmail
Before you learn how to get rid of blackmail, you should know how to spot it. Look for these signs and take them as a warning, even if only one appears.
Fake profile
Due to their customizable nature, fake profiles can be hard to detect. But check to see if one only contains minimal details about a user. Having little to no information about themselves is potentially a dead giveaway.
If this happens on social media, look at your friends list. Are they friends with your friends? You can usually tell scammers apart if there are little to no mutual friends. If there are, chances are, your friends don’t even know them in the first place.
Unnecessary pressure
Relationships require compromise from both parties. It won’t do if one pushes you to do uncomfortable (or, in this case, incriminating) things. It’s even worse if they deem you a killjoy for refusing. If this is a pattern, you may want to start thinking about contacting authorities.
Improbable impressions
Is your match claiming something impossible? Are their words too good to be true? If so, you’ve got a mess on your hands. Keep count of such instances, and don’t wait to ask for help before it’s too late.
Hasty progress
Relationships should progress organically. Rushing can cause you to miss out on moments that you should savor. So, it’s bad news if the other party wants to rush into milestones, especially if you just got together.
Types of Online Blackmail
Whether it’s dating apps or social media platforms, everyone is vulnerable to online blackmailers. Be aware of their different modus operandi and avoid becoming a victim.
Sextortion
This term is a portmanteau of “sex” and “extortion.” Scammers lure unsuspecting victims with hopes of either love or intimacy (in most cases, both). Their end goal is to gain explicit content to exploit.
They utilize fake profiles to send and receive such content. Once they get what they want, they’ll threaten to leak the information.
Sensitive Information Blackmail
Between 2022 and 2023, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) received over 100,000 cases of this scam.
Like sextortion, this breach threatens to expose information. The difference lies in the targeted data and method. This type of blackmail targets sensitive, inexplicit information and doesn’t employ catfishing and other methods of enticing victims. Instead, it uses targeted techniques like phishing to access content.
How to Deal With Online Blackmail
“Help, I am being blackmailed.”
Blackmailing can happen to any online dater. If you find yourself in this predicament, pull it together and take these steps to remedy the horrible situation:
#1: Cut off all contact.
Are you seeing red flags? Break off all communication as soon as the realization hits you. You don’t want to give them any more ammunition and leverage.
#2: Change your credentials immediately.
Contact your bank or card provider once you realize your “match” is blackmailing you. This way, any transaction will come off as a suspicious attempt. Change your passwords (email, social media, online shopping, banking, etc.) and log out of all your devices for extra security.
#3: Don’t comply with the demands.
Are you receiving threats? Here’s how to deal with extortion: don’t take the bait and obey. You may think giving the scammer what they want is an easy way out, but it isn’t. It may even perpetuate more abuse and manipulation since they see how easy you are to fool.
#4: Collect evidence.
Don’t leave the blackmailing undetected. Keep messages, videos, and any other content from them. It’ll be crucial in backing up your case. These materials will serve as evidence when it hits the court.
#5: Reach out to the proper authorities.
Report the scam to the relevant parties. If you don’t know who to call if you’re being blackmailed, contact the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). They’re the branch best equipped to deal with cases like yours.
Also, seek legal assistance from lawyers. They’ll help you navigate your way out of your situation.
#6: Let people support you.
We know this is a harrowing experience, but don’t push people away while dealing with it. Isolating yourself will make your situation feel heavier than it already is.
Let your loved ones know about your case and allow them to comfort you. This isn’t your fault, and you need all the support you can get.
Protect Yourself
Online dating offers endless possibilities. But there’s no denying that it poses risks to your safety. As much as dating sites and apps and even social media platforms are heightening their security measures, you should also do your part in protecting yourself and your resources.
Don’t let online blackmail ruin your life. Be cautious when online dating to have better experiences.
Reference
Sobiecki, Viktor. 2025. “How to Recognize and Avoid Online Blackmail.” Digital Forensics Corp. https://www.digitalforensics.com/blog/online-blackmail/what-is-online-blackmail/?srsltid=AfmBOooTrM1SuGGdQChnUn3lWFL3E6DtDk69H9NFpQoVtbC4UxbeS4I.